This morning was a tough morning.  I needed to tell my dad some hard things and get him to thinking about life after mom leaves the hospital and then life after rehab.  The fall has changed life drastically for him.  He was not very cooperative.  We talked about mom’s rehab he would not be able to stay at home.  He had two choices – the nursing home or coming back to Minnesota with me.  He was not about to leave the house and couldn’t understand why he could not stay alone as he is an adult.  I went on to explain his medical condition and how he had not done his exercises consistently which was his only defense against this disease. Because of the fact that he had not been doing much for himself for 18 months, it was not safe to leave him alone.  He could not access food easily.  He could not get help if something happened.etc.  He was not pleased with me.

Shortly after we had our discussion, he shut down and the home health aide came to give him his bath.  I told her what we had been talking about and that he was not in a good mood.  When she heard the options he had to choose from, she said, “Pack your bags and go to Minnesota.  It is beautiful. ”  Dad was full of questions.  He was interested in what it would cost to have a home heath nurse 24.7 – the cost is astronomical.

He is still wanting to stay, but the costs are prohibitive.  He would like one of my kids to come, but currently all have school and work.  To top things off, I told him that mom would not be able to care for him once she was out of rehab.  He could not understand why not.

There is much to discuss and decisions to make.  He does not seem to get the  picture that he is not capable of self-care.  There are some options, but I need to talk with Gary.  This is not going to be an easy week!