Today was a long day. I was up shortly after 6 to get a shower and breakfast and on the road just before 8 AM. I arrived in Wilbur early and stopped by to see dad before the crowd. He was resting, but glad to see me. I was amazed at how little progress he had made since Christmas and found out in talking with the therapists that he has reached a plateau which is what is driving the efforts to get dad home – if it is safe for him to do so. It also needs to be safe for mom as well.
At this point, dad is still unwilling to do much for himself and doesn’t seem to get the importance of his doing these things. He has lost a lot of range of motion in his upper body. He moves very slowly but seems to have accepted the fact that he does indeed have Parkinson’s. However they tried the medication again and he does not react well to the medicine. We will need to make some phone calls to see what else their might be to try. This time my brother noticed that the medications did in fact help him!
We were able to take dad to the house for just a bit over an hour. The goal was to see if he could get along safely at home and what would need to be done to make things like the bathroom safer for him. While there are a few things that could be done, it seems like it might not be safe for him to come home – even temporarily. Mother has already done enough to sabotage the idea and even if I were to come down for a week to oversee things, there is not guarantee that mom could manage things on her own and she is resistant to have home health nurses come in.
Some things became very clear with this short visit to the house – the main part of the house will not be an option for my dad. When they moved into this house in 1989 or there about, they began to discuss options for when they got older and couldn’t do stairs. So they added on to the house. This addition, which we have always called “the patio” has been used by our family when we come down for a visit. Now it is the only option for dad as he can no longer do stairs. He struggled as we talked through that as he wanted to be able to go to the main part of the house so that mom would be more comfortable. However as we continued to walk through the process, it became more apparent that mom was unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to have dad at home. She does not want to change much to make it safe for dad.
What next? Getting dad in the van tomorrow AM so that he can come to Omaha to watch Garrett play basketball. I am not sure if mom will be coming or not. She was still going back and forth on that one herself.
Pray for wisdom – when Gary and I go to mom’s on Saturday night, we will have to talk through many issues with both my mom and my brother. There are no easy answers. I am still trying to figure out what I am feeling and thinking which is why this post is so late in coming. I went to run on the treadmill here at the hotel and ended up walking on “steep inclines” for 20 minutes – it was the best I could do – at least for today!
God’s mercies are new every morning and I am thankful for that promise.